324: Belonging Week - Finding the Value in Solitude

You would think that with 6,952,225,025 people on the planet that no one would feel alone or lonely.  Yet I meet countless individuals in the span of my day who profess to feeling lonely.  They do not outwardly say that they are lonely (some do ) but for the most part they are seeking a sense of belonging.  For the majority they are looking to find that “special someone”.  Others seek to find a place within their own immediate family.

I have no qualms in saying that I too have succumb to feelings of loneliness but I freely admit that was decades ago.  Much like everyone else I felt the need to couple.  I remember being absolutely driven to make sure I did. Every action, every thought, every event was geared to that goal. So was the case with friends as well.

I smile thinking back to those times.  I smile from my chair now in my home, alone but most assuredly not lonely.  I smile because that person I was is someone so distant now.  At times I barely remember that person was me but all the while I am thankful for the journey he took, never regretful.  And while I smile remembering that misdirected energy I realized the goal; to experience Light and Love.  

And now I smile because I realize the path I am on. I realize that I am truly blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.  The most important thing I realize is that they didn’t come about because I rabidly sought them out.  They came to me, and me to them, effortlessly.  We came together to experience an energy.   As I become wiser I realize all that I am and all that I wish to contribute to this world.  And that is exactly where it starts; knowing yourself.

That is a journey all on its own.  But it is a necessary trip.  And in my experience one that is filled with wide eyed discovery.  And it can be, or it can be fraught with anguish and suffering.  The choice is truly our own. 

So what does self awareness have to do with solitude and loneliness? Alot. We can never truly belong anywhere with anyone until we realize who we are.  Until we realize our motivations our lessons will reflect the choices we make.  If we are fervently going about seeking a mate or friends out of fear of being alone then most assuredly we will pull ourselves into situations which will ultimately lead to isolation.  

We realize the actions we take and the people we are by being quiet and exploring “alone time”.  Alone time is gift; a time to truly experience who we are, without restrictions.  Alone time can be spent in utter solitude, meditating or it can be spent going throughout the day on our own, encountering new people.  These times help us define who we are.  These times assist us because we are interacting purely, without seeking approval from friends or anyone else who would be with us. We are truly being who we are.  In this process if our energy is joyful and light then we will attract people of a similar nature.  If we are negative and dour then those types of people will make their way into our lives. Hopefully until we learn the lessons we are meant to learn.

Our goal should be to create a community that celebrates who we are. And again it is not a conscious effort.  It should unfold by laughing, smiling and being grateful. If in that unfolding there is a person who we are drawn to above all others then perhaps that is a teacher who will be with us a lifetime, or a portion of that. There may be or there may not.  And both are okay.

Because your know what?  You are absolutely perfect just the way you are, by yourself or with people.  There is no one to look for to complete you. You are whole on your own. If in the span of your lifetime someone else may realize that. No doubt that energy will make its way out and many will realize it.

For now and ahead, be happy knowing that you are capable of anything, most of all joy.  Know that a search to feel belonging will ultimately bring you inward until you realize that you are whole.

And in the grand scheme of things we truly one; one energy split into billions of beings to experience divinity.

With Light and Love,


Thom WaltersComment