543: Being Your Authentic Self Leads to Calm and More Energy
Hey my friends and thanks for coming back to Five Minute Mojo. I am your host Thom Walters and this is your peaceful ride home.My goal is simple. Help you achieve calm and peace of mind each day. The best way to do that is to help you think about what works in your life and ditch what doesn’t. Let’s get right into it today by talking about authenticity.
There is a very common belief that adds stress to your life. That belief is that you need to wear different masks depending on who you are speaking with. You have to change bits and pieces of who you are, in relations to where you are. For instance, when you're at work you are supposed to act differently than you do when you are out with your friends. When you are spending time with your parents you are supposed to act differently than when you are spending time with friends at a club or sports event.
Those are just two examples. I would imagine that many people change who they are at various times of the day. Is that accurate for you? Of course, on some level, the foundation of who we are stays the same, hopefully, but language and how we carry ourselves may change significantly from situation to situation.
You might not think so, but all that monitoring of where you are, and who you are with, is exhausting. The energy you expend molding yourself to your surroundings takes it’s toll on your energy and your psyche.
To the bigger point, how calm do you feel when you are exhausted; when you feel like you have been struggling all day? I’m thinking not that much.
If your goal is to become calmer then you need to do things that aren’t going to give you a huge return on your investment in regards to your energy levels. Accordingly, it’s not going to serve you to waste energy changing who you are, depending on where you are or who you are with.
One way to be calmer is to become authentic, meaning who you are stays constant throughout the day. The person you are at work is the same person you are at home with your significant other. The way you act at the gym with your buddies is the same way you act when you are hanging out with your parents.
I have a brother, Jack, who is the true embodiment of authenticity. What you see is what you get. he doesn’t put on airs or pretend to be something he is not. Whether he is with me on the phone or hanging out at Dad’s, he is the same person. He is kind, generous, sometimes opinionated, sometimes frustrated with people, but wherever he is, he’s the same guy. And I have to tell you, it’s refreshing to see. In fact, I would say he is the most authentic person I know.
So why do people change who they are depending on where they are? And is there a way to not do that so that you can become calmer, have more substantial relationships?
People change so that they are accepted as part of the group. We all want to belong, and therefore blend in to the confines of the group so as not to be booted out. However, that is not going to be serving, because if you are changing who you are to fit in, then are you being true to yourself? The answer is a simple no, and in time you may even doubt who you truly are if you bend so completely to the group.
The next answer is easy to answer but not so easy to put into effect, because it does go against hereditary conditioning. Quite simply though, determine who you, and stay true to that understanding, regardless of where you are or who you are with.
To fully understand who you are though, you need to spend time alone in silence, determining what has meaning for you, who you are and what you bring to the world. If you want to know how to go about getting those answers, then begin a meditation practice. If that is your goal then ZEN commuter in the morning will serve you well.
My friends, think about how authentic you are, without judgment. How many different masks do you wear in a day? It may be just one, which is awesome. Regardless, stick to being the person you are, without apology, and you will clearly live a calmer life.
This is Thom Walters singing off for 5 Minute Mojo. Go make the rest of the day amazing, sleep tight, and of course, sweet dreams.