516: Ditching the Sources That Make You Feel Inferior
Hello my friend and welcome back to Five Minute Mojo. What would you say if I told you that at some point in the day you would be told that you aren’t good enough? Would you believe me? You might be thinking that I am strictly talking about yourself, that each day you tell yourself at some point that you aren’t good enough. Well, I totally understand that many people hear that from themselves, but believe it or not I am talking about another voice outside of your inner dialogue. It’s much more insidious, wildly subtler.
Now what would you say if I told you that you willingly ask to be told you are not good enough, that you are lacking? Would you believe me then? I hate to say it but if you own a TV, subscribe to magazines or even surf the internet you are confronted with messages telling you that you don’t measure up. And the saddest part of all is that you willingly invite those comments.
If you have self-esteem issues of course there are any number of causes. But regardless of origin there are so many times in the day where those messages keep repeating, and you ask for them. If you turn on the TV and a car commercial comes on, what do you see? Chances are good that you see one of four things. A wildly attractive younger woman, an equally young and handsome man, a couple consisting of each of those two or a young family with a couple of kids in tow. Of course all of them are smiling with perfect hair and white teeth.
Are any of these people actually saying you are lacking? Well, yes and no. Our nature is to compare ourselves to the world around us. It is part of our reptilian brain. We need to know where we fit in. It’s part reptilian brain and part ego; both of which are looking for you to create a sense of identity. Unfortunately both of these sources look to do so at the expense of your actual wellbeing, you sense of happiness. Your reptilian brain is simply hereditary behavioral carryover, a process that has been with you since it was important to know where you fit in, and I mean a long time carryover, since caveman days.
Of course your ego is drenched in humanness. It doesn’t look to find commonality with people, in fact it does the exact opposite. It is constantly scanning to see how it can inflate itself, how it can be made to feel superior. It judges. Hopefully you can see how neither of these two are going to be helping feel good about who you are.
Getting back to the car example, the advertisers pick happy, shiny good looking people on purpose for two reasons. They want you to feel inferior and they want you to know that they hold the key to your feeling beautiful, one of the happy people. The car that sexy or handsome person is driving is your ticket to belonging, to boosting yourself up over a majority of people.
Some of you might be thinking, “Thom, of course I know that. Everybody does. That’s advertising”.
Well, I am not sure that everyone does know that. However, if you do know that then why would you willingly turn on the TV, read magazines? I said before that those influences are subtler and insidious, and I meant it. You may think that you are simply turning on the TV, but the reality is that you are slowly giving away your sense of happiness by being subjected to these images each day. That’s just one example. Those images and intents aren’t just on TV; they are in magazines and on the radio. So what do you do? You start to become aware of your surroundings. You look to see where you are happy and encouraged and where you are losing your peace.
You examine the things you do everyday and look at them to see if they are moving you forward or moving you backwards. Everything you do has one of those two outcomes; you are either growing or stagnating. There is no neutral.
You assess the places, the people and the things in your life and you simply ask if they are making you happier, adding to your life. It seems really simple, and it is. But the majority of people don’t do it. After you ask the question though you need to take action. if they move you forward you keep doing them, if they aren’t then you need to find an alternative that will. That is the most important thing to point out. You are never trapped. You can always make choices to be happier.
Are you willing to start? Of course you are! You’re here. That means you are already somewhat familiar with wanting to be better, and that is awesome. So now the time has come for me to ask you some questions to think about on your ride home or wherever you are. I want you to be honest with yourself and realize you are the only person who is going to know your answer, there is no need to answer them for anyone else. Here goes:
Question of the Day:
- What was the last thing that you did that did not move you forward?
- Why did you do it? and is there another way that could give you the same result but also move you forward, help you grow?
Spend as much time as you need to answer that completely. This is your time to grow. If you found today’s episode helpful then share it with your friends. Help them become better for themselves as well. This is Thom Walters signing off for Five Minute Mojo. Go make the rest of the day amazing, sleep tight and sweet dreams.